I could see the Pokies in my dreams, hear the sounds that they played and there was the grip of fear and anxiety every time the phone rang, worrying if I was about to be discovered. People thought that if I wasnt in a venue then it wasnt affecting me, but it was.

I had wished so many times that it had been a drug or an alcohol issue because then people would have seen and I wouldnt have been able to hide for so long.Įven the people that I did let in didnt know how to help me. I struggled for such a long time with that word and what nearly killed me was the phrase once an addict always an addict. The horrible roller coaster of self loathing and disappointment continued for 12 years until I was so completely exhausted from trying to keep up the facade that I was fine and I wasnt an addict. He could never understand the hold and pull the machines had over me and I thought that because he withdrew and kept piling all the stress on me that he didnt care about me. My husbands depression that he had also struggled with in his youth made its way into our marriage and from that point forward we were both dealing with pain. How to Stop Gambling Addiction and Quit Playing Slot Machines

How to quit playing slot machines